Well, our society has definitely changed in respects to dating. I'm curious...what does the word "dating" mean to the world. Let me paint a picture for you all:
A girl gets a call on the phone and it's Johnny (forgive the trite name). When she answers, he says, "Sally, will you go on a date with me on Friday?" He tells her that there is a free concert in the park and he has two tickets in hopes that she will go with him. During the concert, he wants to have a picnic and eat cereal (my dream). Sally laughs because it was a funny idea to eat cereal on a picnic, but she admires Johnny's assertiveness, so she says yes and is genuinely excited to have a good time. I know this sounds cheesy, but let me tell you what Sally has just learned about Johnny in that short interaction:
1. Johnny is respectful (as shown by him formally asking her out on a date)
2. Johnny is fun (having cereal on a picnic)
3. Johnny is proactive (he planned something out)
4. Johnny is creative and frugal (he chose a free activity and a cheap dinner and could have a good time without oodles of cash)
5. Johnny is willing to put effort into a woman (enough said)
You can not underestimate the power or importance of what we call 3-P dating.
Planned
Paid for
Paired off
Using these 3 P's does not mean that you have to be seriously dating someone. In fact it is quite the opposite, you should go on a variety of dates with a variety of people. What truly is the purpose of dating (or at least the purpose in the past). It is to have fun, to get to know someone, to get a feel for the type of people that you enjoy. Going on a variety of dates with a person, before you start courting (yes, I said courting), helps you understand if this is someone that you would want to be exclusive with. This is the time to figure out how another person responds in certain situations, if you can have fun with them, or even if you both have similar values.
How is societies current model of dating compare to this? Well, simply, we get attached too quickly. We spend long periods of time "hanging out" and become overly attached (but not always in a real way). John Van Epp describes it best in his R.A.M.
A girl gets a call on the phone and it's Johnny (forgive the trite name). When she answers, he says, "Sally, will you go on a date with me on Friday?" He tells her that there is a free concert in the park and he has two tickets in hopes that she will go with him. During the concert, he wants to have a picnic and eat cereal (my dream). Sally laughs because it was a funny idea to eat cereal on a picnic, but she admires Johnny's assertiveness, so she says yes and is genuinely excited to have a good time. I know this sounds cheesy, but let me tell you what Sally has just learned about Johnny in that short interaction:
1. Johnny is respectful (as shown by him formally asking her out on a date)
2. Johnny is fun (having cereal on a picnic)
3. Johnny is proactive (he planned something out)
4. Johnny is creative and frugal (he chose a free activity and a cheap dinner and could have a good time without oodles of cash)
5. Johnny is willing to put effort into a woman (enough said)
You can not underestimate the power or importance of what we call 3-P dating.
Planned
Paid for
Paired off
Using these 3 P's does not mean that you have to be seriously dating someone. In fact it is quite the opposite, you should go on a variety of dates with a variety of people. What truly is the purpose of dating (or at least the purpose in the past). It is to have fun, to get to know someone, to get a feel for the type of people that you enjoy. Going on a variety of dates with a person, before you start courting (yes, I said courting), helps you understand if this is someone that you would want to be exclusive with. This is the time to figure out how another person responds in certain situations, if you can have fun with them, or even if you both have similar values.
How is societies current model of dating compare to this? Well, simply, we get attached too quickly. We spend long periods of time "hanging out" and become overly attached (but not always in a real way). John Van Epp describes it best in his R.A.M.