Regardless of your religious beliefs, or lack of, counsel has been given by the 12 apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints to hold family councils. I know that for most of us, this is probably an unfamiliar idea. If you are not part of the LDS faith, please continue reading, because from a family science perspective, this is brilliant!
A family council is a time that is set aside each week for every member in your family to get together. You discuss planning, conflict, thoughts, feelings, and ideas.
There is an effective way of family counseling that has been laid out by the LDS church (the format that the prophet and twelve apostles use themselves). The format and purpose goes as follows:
1. Have a set day and time
2. Express love and appreciation for one another
a. This sets a tone of openness, love, and security. In a family, if parent or child doesn't feel adequately secure, they may not feel comfortable to express their thoughts fully.
3. Open with a prayer
a. Even if you are not religious, I still suggest including this step. There is something powerful about including a higher being in your decision making as a family. The Lord will truly bless the parents and children with inspiration that will benefit the family unit.
4. Discuss the issues at hand, each member in their turn
a. Bringing up issues and planning in a non-contentious setting is ideal for conflict resolution. It is also beneficial that each child feel part of the family and that their opinions and concerns are thoughtfully considered. Each family member has a unique gift and can each think of things that the rest of us overlook. Parents, be willing to forsake your power and listen to your children.
5. Come to a consensus, not a compromise
a. This is crucial. In family, we have always been told to be willing to compromise. The issue with that, is ultimately, some members of the family aren't fully committed to a plan of action. The process of talking through things until each person agrees is so beneficial. Sometimes it will take a while and will have to sit one the shelf until the next family council. The key here is not having everyone think about what they want, but to think about what God wants them to do. That is a bit easier to agree on.
6. Close with a prayer
a. This is the point where you confirm with God that your consensus is accurate
7. Share refreshments with one another
a. This is a time for unity and socializing
Lets think about the positive impact that this can have on a family:
1. You discuss issues during a time when your emotions are not caught in the moment
2. You can plan for events. For example, what activities will take place during the holidays, which can avoid day of conflicts
3. You can discuss large decisions such as where to live, job options. Doing this allows each family member to feel good about decisions.
A family council is a time that is set aside each week for every member in your family to get together. You discuss planning, conflict, thoughts, feelings, and ideas.
There is an effective way of family counseling that has been laid out by the LDS church (the format that the prophet and twelve apostles use themselves). The format and purpose goes as follows:
1. Have a set day and time
2. Express love and appreciation for one another
a. This sets a tone of openness, love, and security. In a family, if parent or child doesn't feel adequately secure, they may not feel comfortable to express their thoughts fully.
3. Open with a prayer
a. Even if you are not religious, I still suggest including this step. There is something powerful about including a higher being in your decision making as a family. The Lord will truly bless the parents and children with inspiration that will benefit the family unit.
4. Discuss the issues at hand, each member in their turn
a. Bringing up issues and planning in a non-contentious setting is ideal for conflict resolution. It is also beneficial that each child feel part of the family and that their opinions and concerns are thoughtfully considered. Each family member has a unique gift and can each think of things that the rest of us overlook. Parents, be willing to forsake your power and listen to your children.
5. Come to a consensus, not a compromise
a. This is crucial. In family, we have always been told to be willing to compromise. The issue with that, is ultimately, some members of the family aren't fully committed to a plan of action. The process of talking through things until each person agrees is so beneficial. Sometimes it will take a while and will have to sit one the shelf until the next family council. The key here is not having everyone think about what they want, but to think about what God wants them to do. That is a bit easier to agree on.
6. Close with a prayer
a. This is the point where you confirm with God that your consensus is accurate
7. Share refreshments with one another
a. This is a time for unity and socializing
Lets think about the positive impact that this can have on a family:
1. You discuss issues during a time when your emotions are not caught in the moment
2. You can plan for events. For example, what activities will take place during the holidays, which can avoid day of conflicts
3. You can discuss large decisions such as where to live, job options. Doing this allows each family member to feel good about decisions.